One of the things we want for our kids is Self-Confidence – after all, self-confidence is a key component of success in life. But how do you teach this important life skill? Here are some tips that will help and you can start doing today.
1. MEET THEIR NEEDS
Sounds simple, right? Experts note that babies and children who have their needs met consistently – needs for food, comfort, a good listening ear, quality time, fun – are learning the message that they are worth paying attention to and simply that they learn they have worth. When you show your attention positively to your kids, they know that they are important to you. Kids will display negative behavior if they feel like they are not getting enough positive attention from you.
2. PLAY WITH YOUR CHILD
Play is how your toddler learns about and interacts with his or her world. When you participate, you validate this playful approach. You are sharing your child’s world and helping him or her to see that Mom and/or Dad like the same things they do. Toddlers learn best through play and it’s a time to have fun and laugh.
Parents can get pushy about teaching their children the value of hard work or the completion of tasks. While these things are certainly important, the time in a person’s life when they are young, playful children is quite short. So embrace this time and play with your child, and work in on the task-oriented training in addition to play time. Honestly, it can be therapeutic for parents to play with their kids as we remember how much fun it was to be a kid. So bring out your inner child and have some fun!! It will reduce your stress levels too.
3. PUT ON A HAPPY FACE
I get it, not everyone is happy all the time, and parents get stressed out. This is understandable, and there’s no need to invent a perpetually-cheerful persona; it’s not realistic. But if your children receive the constant message that they are the source of your stress, they may begin to take on thoughts that they are no good and nobody likes them. They will see themselves as an annoyance, and this will undermine their self-confidence. When you’ve had a hard day, be authentic and talk to your kids about it. They will learn some valuable lessons on how to deal with their frustrations and they will also learn that your mood is not tied to them. This would be a great time to refer to number 2 and play with your kids.
4. WATCH WHAT YOU SAY & HOW YOU SAY IT
In a similar vein to the paragraph above, be careful about complaining about your children in their hearing. Yes, parenting is hard, and children can try your patience. But if you need to vent to your friends or partner about the things your child does that drive you crazy, do it at a time when your child is not present or after he or she has fallen asleep. If you and your partner are arguing about the kids, keep it down or go somewhere that they can’t hear you. This applies to Ex’s as well. Don’t trash anyone in front of your kids.
In addition, watch what you say to your kids. Words matter. Stop the name calling of your partner, your kids, to anyone in your household even your pets. Name calling has no place in the family. You may think it, but don’t say it. When you label your child, they will learn to live up to your expectations.
5. DON’T WITHOLD YOURSELF
If your child fails at something – and he or she will at some point – it’s important not to withdraw or withhold love and attention. This sends the message that your child’s achievements are more important than your child. Instead, make sure your child knows you love him or her no matter what failures happen. In fact, after a tantrum or accident happens and calm is restored, say to your child directly, “I LOVE YOU!” and offer a hug and kiss. Your kids need to know that you always love them regardless of what is going on with emotions and struggles.
Of course, this does not mean you as a parent need to accept constant failure or not encourage your child to do better. The important thing is for your child not to think your love is conditional. Privileges can be conditional; parental love should never be.
These are 5 important tips to incorporate today. Take action, choose one and start making a difference in your life and the life of your kids today. They will notice and you will too.
Our job as parents is to be the coach, the counselor, the guide not the tyrant or commander. Our kids learn from our example and grow from there. Parenting is not the easiest job in the world but it is certainly the most rewarding.
If you learned something from this post, shaare it so other parents can learn too. We are all here to make our kids and therefore our world and their world a better place and it starts with one step at a time. Go forth and create some amazing kids!!
Peace, love and laughter!
If this post was helpful to you, comment below and let’s help some more parents! Feel free to share this with anyone who is looking for a bit of help with their kids and their peace of mind.
Peace, Love and Laughter to you and your family,
PUMPED UP PARENTING
"Because we're raising adults, not children!"