Are you making your kid a spoiled brat by being a well-meaning parent? It’s ok. Many parents that think they are helping, but in reality, they are not. Sometimes your kids have to learn for themselves.
Here’s some helpful advice.
Admit Mistakes and Teach them to admit Mistakes. The best thing you can do with a mistake is learn from it. Don’t cover it up, don’t act like it didn’t happen, take the opportunity to learn, find new ways and grow.
Every minute does not have to be a Happy Minute. Life is full of ups and downs. If kids don’t learn that now, they will never learn to deal with life’s roller coaster as they grow.
Don’t do their jobs for them. They need to learn to pick up after themselves. They need to do their own homework and projects. A good work ethic is created from appreciating the hard work you’re doing. Let them appreciate their own work.
Don’t fall for the Drama. Life happens. Drama happens and it’s mostly to get your attention and your reaction. Don’t give it to them. The more you give into the drama, the less chance you have of them ever changing their ways. Ignore them and they will learn that they are not getting anywhere with the tears and attitude.
You Can’t Always Get What You Want. Kids can’t either. Giving in to their every wish, makes them grateful and appreciative of nothing. Have 3 lists… a WISH list, a SAVE-FOR-IT List and a GIFT List. Wish lists are good for something you know they would like to have and maybe you surprise them after job well done with it or another surprise reason. The SAVE list, is something that they really want, maybe a costly item and they learn, to work, earn and save. The GIFT list goes out to others for birthdays, holidays,etc.
Not everything needs to be a discussion. Parenting is not always a Democracy, sometimes it’s a dictatorship and sometimes you make the decision and stick to it. If you decide on a punishment, stick to it, don’t alter it to fit their needs. Don’t threaten and never follow through. Meal Time is not “Mom the Short Order Cook” time. Make a meal that everyone eats. Don’t give in to their begging or fussiness. You will help your kids to not be such picky eaters and appreciate what’s offered to them.
Sometimes other commitments keep you from a recital or sports event. That’s OK! Don’t feel guilty. Kids need to know that although they are a priority, there are other priorities in your life as well that may not be avoided. Kids learn that they are not the center of the universe, but a spoke in the wheel that makes the family complete and turning smoothly.
Both Parents Are on The Same Page. Do not let your child play you. Do not let them get an answer from one parent that they are unhappy with and go to the other parent for a different outcome. Both parents need to agree or your kids will have no reason to listen to anything either of you say.
Insist on Manners & Smile. You should be using them and insist that your kids use them. There is no better way to raise respectful children, then to raise well mannered children that live in a respectful house. Do not let your kids yell at you, hit you or speak with disrespect. If children are allowed to behave that way to their parents, they will act that way with everyone they encounter. Smile when you speak and encourage your kids to smile when they speak as well.
Take time with your kids for fun! Enjoy each other, play, laugh, talk, joke and make family time an enjoyable time. Take a break from the electronics and spend some time walking, conversing and looking each other in the eye instead of down at phones. Emotion can only be seen and heard in order to be felt. Keep it real.
Boundaries, responsibilities, respect and learning from the ups and downs of life, will create children that grow into well rounded, intelligent, respectful, hard working adults. Enjoy your kids, show them you love them and they will show the world how great they can be.
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Peace, Love & Laughter!
Let’s raise happy and healthy kids together!
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