As parents, one of our most important jobs is to raise competent, happy adults. But as many of us know, that is not always the case and sometimes we need therapy or coaching to get us past what was planted in our brains from childhood. Without
certain skills, parenting someone else is going to be quite a challenge. Still, growing up is something we all have to do at one time or another.
Most people have a defining moment in life realizing that it's time to get serious about life and grow up. This is a process of spiritual, physical, social, financial, and spiritual awakening. This happens very often when we become a parent or it can be a moment brought on by a challenge, a failure, a life struggle, or any other thing. It's different for everyone but it's unmistakable when it happens to you.
How do you go about making this change in your life? Especially if you have spent a lot of your life up to this point living with family, without full responsibility for yourself, or relying on other people? It’s not as complicated as we make it. Start where you are.
Self-Development Really Is A Thing
Part of growing up is self-development. Mastering oneself and being able to care for oneself is just the tip of the iceberg. Becoming your ultimate self, is a big part of personal development.
“Self-actualization, in Maslow's hierarchy of needs, is the highest level of psychological development where the "actualization" of full personal potential is achieved, which occurs usually after basic bodily and ego needs have been fulfilled” (Wikipedia).
Yes, now you are at the age where no one is going to do it for you, nag you until you do the work, or push you. It’s up to you to push yourself and work on personal growth. It’s also an empowering and exciting experience to explore yourself and grow.
All The Feels
It is so important as parents that we learn to control our emotions, so that we can teach children how to regulate theirs. Learning to handle problems with grace, manage emotions, and control anxiety and stress are all part of growing up. Emotional regulation and emotional intelligence are critical skills in adulthood.
Add to that being able to effectively communicate your feelings assertively (much of this is learned from experience). Learning to think before you speak and react to stressful situations calmly is a huge level up in life.
Let’s Be Honest
Part of being an adult is being honest. Sometimes that is easy. Sometimes that is gut-wrenchingly hard. Maturity brings the discipline to stay true to your morals and values and part of that is being a truthful honest person. Add in the idea of trustworthy-ness. Being trustworthy means you do what you say you will, that you are reliable, and do the right thing even when no one is watching. You basically need to become a person of integrity.
It’s Your Responsibility
Another aspect of maturity and personal growth is being responsible. Reliability and responsibility are pillars of adulthood. You need to be able to be counted on. You don’t have to be a natural at reliability. Use tools while you get into the swing of things. Use calendars, planners, and reminders to ease the transition. Do what you say you will do and don’t promise what you can’t deliver. This is vitally important to remember as you parent your kids.
Care about people. Be thankful. Be grateful. No this is not the inside of a greeting card. It’s simple advice for personal growth. Learning to realize that no man (or woman) is an island is part of growing up.
Being independent means many things for many people. Having a job or paying bills can be independence. Grocery shopping and cooking can be a part of independence. Whatever life asks of you; maturity will help you in handling the tasks that come your way. Think of adulthood and growing up as handling business.
Whatever comes your way you are capable of rising to the task at hand. Don’t wait. Rise up to the challenges of your personal growth. Life is an adventure and you are ready. If you step up to the plate, you model to your children what they need to become as they grow. It's a win-win for everyone.